Exhaustion ~ noun ~ a state of extreme physical or mental tiredness.
Yes. This is me. Exhausted.
I considered myself lucky, I was blessed with Riley’s sleeping habits. Up until he begun with his regular sleep overs at the hospital, he had the best routine. The kind that would make any mother green with envy. Jamie used to sleep well when he was a little baby, but as he got older, it became difficult to get him to fall asleep. It took endless hours of walking up and down, singing and shushing to get him to close his eyes. Now I have two. Two stubborn boys that are surprised every night that it is in fact bed time. Every. Night.
I have read about sleep regression, heard the horror stories. Just when mommies have started to enjoy their sleep and no longer have dark rings under their eyes, boom. 18 months. Hello sleep regression. Unfortunately, Jamie formed a habit once I had moved him over to a toddler bed, the habit that gets some mom’s judging juices flowing. He started getting up during the night and sneaking into my bed, and it got to a point where I stopped hearing him, and was just too tired to care, to physically get up and take him back to his bed was interrupting deep sleep, and it meant I had to give up my warm cosy spot in my bed. I needed sleep, so I let it be. Little did I know, he would be 4 years old and still jumping into my bed at 2am. This means, I wake up with a toe in my ear, and my head on my bedside table. It’s not all fun.
Over the past two weeks, It’s been nothing but challenging with my attempts to get Riley to sleep. He is right on point with the sleep regression. It’s nearing bedtime and I start to feel anxious, knowing the struggle and challenge it’s going to be. And if I am not mistaken, I have tried pretty much everything. Spraying lavender sleep mist, lying with him for so long that it results in falling asleep before he does, singing, humming, making use of nursery and white noise apps, lullaby’s, carrying him on my back, walking up and down the passage, making shushing noises so loud even I get scared. And don’t even mention leaving him to cry. That was disastrous. He removed all the bedding, and his pyjamas. I got there just in time before the nappy came off. But no matter what I try, nothing seems to last. It’s all novelty and it always wear off at some point.
Finally he is down for the night, I give myself a high five, crawl out of the room, and just as I get into bed, he wakes up, crying “mummaay” while standing his cot. I rush because I am afraid he is going wake his brother up, as they share a room. Well, till 2am of course. Then we share a room. (yawn). I eventually get him to fall asleep again, this time a lot quicker, and finally I get to sleep. However, I wake up in the morning and both boys are in my bed. I wish I could tell you that I remember how it all happened. But I don’t. Riley can’t get out of his cot so I must have stumbled out of bed to fetch him while he was crying. I told you I am really tired okay. Calm your judgy eyebrow.
So instead of this being the usual “Go-to-guide” or “know-it-all” solution to sleep regression struggles, I just want to vent, know that I am not alone, and warn you –
Sleep regression, it’s a real thing. Do not be fooled!
So for now, I guess instead of sitting here writing, I should rather be in bed, hugging my pillow while I can, but I am not sure if I should go sleep, or cry about being tired. So before I fall asleep on my keyboard I am going to say goodnighajsdgauadjhfakjdnkd…