To The Girl Walking Down the Aisle

tothegirlTo The girl that said yes, This is for you.

The innocence of your knowledge of marriage, the wisdom you are yet to carry with you through the trials and tribulations of sharing a life with someone, is a great deal to accept. And it can be a little overwhelming at first. The perfect dress and hair style to go with it, the guest list arranged and the invitations are sent out, Photographer is booked, and everything on your checklist starts looking promising. You get so caught up, so intensely caught up that you naturally forget about the true reason why you are marrying this person and about to give your life to them. Forever. You are about to spend the rest of your life with him. Grow old and have him irritate you for the rest of your life. My ex-husband and I were married for 3 years, and there were things he got wrong after living together for 4 years, after all that time, but it’s okay. Sometimes it’s the little things that force us to have these expectations of someone, no matter how relative the magnitude of the issue is, and at that moment, it might feel like a matter of life and death (yes, generally it is usually much more dramatic than it really is), but no one is perfect. We all have flaws. You have to he prepared for this.

I remember when my ex-husband asked me to marry him, even though we already had a child together, it seemed like life was complete. I said yes, I started planning my big white wedding and had it all together. I forgot about the idea of being a wife and accepting him as my husband, for the person that he is, for better AND for worse. The expectations that come with it, and how to truly accept and deal with every day challenges, together. The fact that you will always have someone else to consider, someone else’s feelings, ideas and opinions to sympathize with.

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My life certainly did not turn out the way I expected. After 3 short years of marriage, my life was changed forever.

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So when you say yes to this man, make sure you can accept that he will be by your side, for as long as you allow him to, he will know things about you that you never thought any one would ever know. Make sure that he will hold your hand through things you will want to go through alone, simply because he knows you need his support.  Make sure you marry someone that won’t make you feel that you may want to leave, in hope that there is someone better for you, because you will feel that you ‘deserve more’. Make sure that when if he tries to push you off the edge (figuratively of course) you will love him again, and you will cherish moments with him, that will make you realize, there is no other place you would rather be. Make sure he will take care of you when you aren’t capable of taking care of yourself. You will carry his children, he will witness you giving life and nurture a little miracle, and make no mistake, your marriage will be put to the ultimate test, and you will reach more than one breaking point. But if you can resist the hardships, together you will face the storms. Make sure you look at him, with the reassurance that he will not leave your side. Even on your darkest days. Even when you feel unworthy and at your worst.

This man, oh this is the man you want to marry.

So to the girl walking down that aisle towards the man of your dreams, while you take those steps, remember that this may not be easy, make a promise to yourself that you will forever accept this man for who and what he is, just as much as he will accept you. Remember you are WORTHY. It may not be everything you imagined when you were a little girl. Take it one day at a time, and remember that a marriage is not a wedding, it’s not the cake or the speech, or the first dance, but the vow you make to one another, it lives long after the wedding. It’s the exciting and scary anticipation of spending your entire life together. And if you stay, and say “I Do”, look forward to growing old together, and make sure you are strong enough for it.

For all of it.

xoxo

Leigh

Photo credit: Lisa Jean Rieken {Lisa Rieken Creative Photography}

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